This is what they gave me to work with.
The first issue that needs to be dealt with is Carrot Jeans. Get the fuck outta here. These things look ridiculous on everyone, no question about it. Has anyone ever said "yeah I'm looking for a a pair of pants that have the comfort of MC Hammer pants in the crotch area but then taper in like skinny jeans at the bottom". I fucking doubt it. Those that have were either being sarcastic or have suffered a brain injury at some stage in their life. These ones are also yellow, taking them to a new level of balls.
The next problem I have with this shit is leather elbow patches. The reason I have a problem with leather elbow patches is that you can't just sew this shit onto anything and make it 'new'. Leather elbow patches on a tweed blazer? Sure, if you're a high school science teacher why not? Leather elbow patches on a woollen zip up jumper. Fuck no. Fashion dudes, choose your elbow patches wisely as they run the risk of overexposure. Remember what happened with Cargo pants? I don't want to see that shit again.
Wooden peace necklace? Are you fucking kidding me?
Mickey mouse shirts belong for sale in two places only, shops aimed at people under the age of 8 and Japan. Are you trying to sell Disney shit in somewhere other than one of these places? Fucking forget it. No chick wants to bang a dude in a Donald Duck shirt and that is what's important here. Next.
The chambray shirt is kinda shitty. They are exclusively worn by dudes who work for companies that make them wear it. This one is super edgy however as it is missing a pocket. Fuck you. That isn't designing clothes. Quick unpicking a pocket off something doesn't make it new. So the chambray is back, as decided by some asshole who has a brother who has a warehouse with 40 000 of them left over from 1986. That's all fashion is, finding dead stock in a warehouse and bringing it back 20 years later. Watch out next summer, peddle pushers for chicks, probably a healthy dose of cheesecloth and corduroy will be everywhere, probably in a skinny jean format.
