TOPMAN, HIGH POINT MELBOURNE 16 MARCH 2013

Topman recently opened to much fanfare and by that I mean it was mentioned in a newspaper, in the newly refurbished and repositioned High Point. Perhaps the long standing nickname Knife Point will no longer be applicable as West Melbourne's finest shopping centre attempts to attract the more discerning shopper. This repositioning I believe will be much like when S Club 7 rebranded themselves as S Club 3 due to loss of members, a wise yet ultimately unsuccessful decision.

Here is the outfit I put together with current seasons fashions. This wasn't cherry picked from the best Topman had to offer, the options for outfits of this calibre were limitless. 

I'm not exactly sure what the MO was for the designers on this one but if it was something along the lines of "what a taxi driver would have worn in 1994" they fucking nailed it. I remember in the 90s when every opportunity shop, or charity shop or thrift shop, depending on where you're from, had literally thousands of these shirts. They were so abundant the shops in question sold them by the kilo. You could walk to the counter with a bag full, where they'd weigh them and then charge you $1. The weight didn't matter, they just wanted to get rid of them. The only people purchasing were taxi drivers and people with acquired brain injuries. Fast forward 15 years and every dickhead with a penchant for slow drip coffee and vegan bread (isn't all bread vegan?) owns a dozen of these things.

Top shop have gone the extra yard and allowed you to team the shirt with cut off tapered sweat pants in a fetching maroon shade and a hat that, well, I don't even fucking know where to begin.

I guess the hat does have a place in society, that place is on the head of a dude begging for change between hacky sack sessions in the worst fucking town on the planet. 

I know what you're thinking, "that shirt, pant and hat combo is fine for a warm day but what about when it gets a little cold in the evening"?

Luckily Top Shop have provided adequate warmth in the form of a faux aztec print denim jacket.

Denim has done the rounds, let's be fair. People wore it over a hundred years ago and I can't see a time when people won't wear denim jeans. I can however see a time when people won't be wearing shitty printed denim jackets and that time is called "forever".

Top Man is at least consistent on an international level, churning out wears that were marginally popular 20 years ago and hoping a new generation won't care that they look shitty as vintage is perpetually cool.